EI Report: Josie's Journey and Tale of Clarion!

Greetings, my lovely little muffins of science-y deliciousness! I've been having just an amazing week so far. With Gaians helping to test out my groundbreaking new Theory of Evolution, I've been collating so much data that I've never felt happier! I've even brought in some extra help; that guy Ivan sure is handy with a calculator. But don't worry, guys -- no matter how excited I am to conduct a new experiment, I will never forget my one true love and passion. Evolving Item reports are practically my raison d'etre, and we've got such an fascinating one to get through this week that I scarcely know where to start! Not only has Josie's Journey experienced another remarkable evolution, but Tale of Clarion underwent an absolutely incredible finale! Let's take a look, shall we?

Josie's Journey: Josie continued to plod along the path, her feet growing more and more sore as she wandered. The occasional small town dotted the road she walked, but they were so few and far between that Josie could barely muster the energy to get excited for them. Maybe she just hadn't traveled far enough from her city yet? Just as Josie was beginning to question her decision to leave home, a sputtering engine and flash of metal rocketed past her. Josie coughed in the dust it raised in its wake, waving a hand in front of her face to clear the air, when she realized something: her bag was gone! Infuriated, Josie set off after the moped at breakneck speed.

No matter how much the thief gassed the engine, he simply couldn't escape Josie's wrath. She easily caught up to the bike and grabbed the thief by his collar, tossing him off as if he weighed nothing at all. Wide-eyed, the thief apologized and begged Josie not to beat him up, offering her a ride to the next town in exchange. Josie considered this for a moment, eyeing her would-be assailant carefully. He seemed just a few years older than her, with spindly arms and legs and not that much muscle. Josie knew she could easily take him down if he tried anything funny. And so she agreed, although she warned her new partner that she was a deadly shot with her earrings if he attempted anything even remotely suspicious. She hopped on the back of his bike and the pair set off to the nearest town, still several days away.

And although neither Josie nor her new friend were aware of it, this was how Josie met her first true love.

Tale of Clarion: The Clarion bell chimed a frightened warning as dark shadows advanced on our heroes. They gripped their weapons tight and exchanged a look, each of them aware that this was the final, climactic battle. With the Clarion ringing in their ears, they swung and hacked, slashed and parried; the shadows were everywhere, but their gift of sight and enchanted armor helped them evade their monstrous claws and magic. Finally, as twilight fell on the strange land, the last of the shadows found its incorporeal body pierced by the heroes' magic weapons. It dissipated with a faint hiss, and the battle was finally over. The heroes had fulfilled the prophecy: they had saved this land from the monsters that tormented it. The Clarion began to peal as a second moon suddenly appeared in the night sky. The heroes stared at it in wonder as the Clarion continued to ring, its music sweet and clear. It was peaceful.

That's it for this Friday's report, but we'll have tons more evolutionary goodness next week! I mean, who knows what will crop up? Please drop by La Victoire if you wish to witness these scientific marvels in person, and don't forget to vote in our Weekly EI Poll when you have the chance! See you next week, science lovers!